First, let’s be sure you have this right. This is NOT the “daughter-in-law rules” as in “the cat rules, the dog drools” but as in rules of behavior for daughters-in-law or “101 Surefire Ways to Manage (and Make Friends with) Your Mother-In-Law”.

In interviews when listing the top ten mistakes Ds-I-L make, Shields has included forgetting to call your M-I-L regularly, forgetting to ask her how she is, and not complimenting her often enough. These are pretty basic tenets of human relations and, if women need to be reminded to do such simple things, it’s no wonder they find their mothers-in-law to be such “problems”.

The “rules” are simple. Although there are no references to the Bible, most of the rules are based on such scriptural principles as kindness, humility, and love, with a dash of common sense (“don’t ever, no matter how much you are tempted, complain about your MIL to your husband”). Shields attacks the MIL situation with humor, although you should be sure to take her seriously.

If you’re having M-I-L troubles, I recommend you read this book and then put into application what you’ve learned. Remember that your mother-in-law was here first – on the earth and in your husband’s life. Yes, you take priority now with your husband, but better to not put him in the position of having to choose. It’s worth whatever trouble it takes.

If you’re not having mother-in-law problems, read the book anyway. No relationship is so good that it can’t be improved. Think how happy it will make your husband. Happy husband = happy marriage = happy life

The author has broken the 101 rules into five parts: The Newlywed, On House and Home, Her Beloved Son, Before and After the Baby, and a part titled Most of All, so you know you’ll be able to find advice for whatever situation you need it.

P.S. Since I both have a mother-in-law and am a mother-in-law, I was quite interested in reading this book. (Actually, I’ve had two mothers-in-law in my life (not at the same time, of course!), very different from each other, (even though they, quite coincidentally share the same wedding date of May 1, 1948.) I have a great relationship with my current mother-in-law although I confess that it’s better than the one with my first MIL. I chalk it up to being because I’m older and a little wiser now, and having inadvertently applied Shields’ advice for years.

Daughters-in-Law: Yup – the onus is on you to make it work. Relax and have sons. Your turn is coming.

The Daughter-In-Law Rules for Canadian readers
The Daughter-in-law Rules from independent booksellers

What do you think? Do you get along with your mother-in-law?

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